I’ve had so many requests from customers about this topic, that I literally stopped doing what I normally do on a Saturday to sit down and write this article. I sincerely hope it gives you some value and alleviates the concerns you or your partner may have about introducing toys in the bedroom.
I’ll start off by mentioning that the sex toy industry has had a very sleazy feel to it for many years. We all know the black-window shops and the sleazy atmosphere they have. Nobody wants to be seen dead in one of those, and even if you don’t really care what people think, there’s absolutely nothing romantic about walking out of those shops with a big ADULT bag. This negative connotation with sex toys has resulted in many people not wanting to try it out for themselves. But times have changed. We now know that smoking is bad for you. We know the earth is not flat. And we also know that sexual health is key to a successful relationship or marriage. Sex toys aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. But if you haven’t tried it, you won’t know. And do you really want to live with regret? I thought not.
So, if you’re reading this, I’m going to assume you’d like to introduce toys but you’re either not sure how your partner will respond, you’re too shy, or your partner suggested it but you’re unsure. So listen up.
Make sure that when you suggest using toys, it’s coming from a place of trust, respect, love and intimacy.
The most important thing I’m going to tell you in this article is right here: Open communication with your partner is super important. Super. Important. The moment you suggest using toys, it could lead to your partner feeling insecure and as a fundamental value in a relationship, it’s your role to alleviate the insecurity. It’s important to understand these feelings and openly talk about them, it’s important to trust each other, and it’s important to talk about your expectations and concerns. I’m going to lay down some foundation points for that conversation here:
A sex toy is not a replacement
Probably the biggest misconception about sex toys is that it replaces your partner’s role.
It’s not about replacing. Not at all. It’s about adding something new, something different to the mix. It’s about trying new things together, growing together as individuals and a couple, and it’s about getting to know yourself and each other, more intimately. Did you know that more than 70% of couples who tried sex toys said in a survey that using toys brought them closer together, and helped them climax together? As a woman, wouldn’t you love it to see his eyes roll over and his toes curl from excitement? As a man, wouldn’t you love it to see her have multiple orgasms?
Toys can turn great sex into jaw-dropping mind-blowing sex
There is a massive variety of toys available in all shapes & sizes, each with its own unique function. Many women struggle to orgasm with only penetration and no clitoral stimulation. Many men struggle with premature ejaculation. Many couples have a hard time to get the timing exactly right so both partners orgasm at the same time. And toys are here to help. For instance, a vibrating cock ring could help him last longer by slightly reducing the blood flow to his penis, whilst at the same time giving her clitoral stimulation. Another prime example is the use of a couples toy like the Lelo Tiani 3. This sleek vibrator gives her amazing clitoral and internal vibrations, whilst giving him a super pleasurable experience of tighter and vibrating penetration. There really is something for everyone, and once you start experimenting, you’ll soon realize what works for you both.
Sex toys won’t spoil it for you.
By using sex toys, you’re exercising the same muscles, but in different ways. It’ll help you understand your own and your partner’s pleasure points better, and help you experience different types of orgasms. Then when you have sex without the toys, you could experience a heightened sense of pleasure. Additionally, women who use kegel balls not only experience subtle arousal and pleasure, but strengthen their pelvic floors which in turn leads to bigger, better orgasms, and better sex for both partners. Masturbation toys can help men with improving their stamina and could help with premature ejaculation.
I have said this before but I’m going to say it again. Talk with each other. Make sure that when you suggest using toys, it’s coming from a place of trust, respect, love and intimacy. Reassure your partner that it’s about trying new things, together. Growing together. Ultimately, having amazing sex, together! Millions of couples worldwide have tried it, and millions love it. But, also understand that toys aren’t for everyone. Not everyone eats meat. Not everyone likes Samsung phones. But, if you never try it, you’ll never know. So, live a little!
Now, go have a glass of wine, turn on the fireplace and go browse through the collections of toys together. Openly discuss what you like and dislike, and remember, if you have any questions, are unsure about anything or just want some guidance on what to get as your first toy, use our livechat or pop us an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. We’re around 22/7 😉